If we often ask ourselves, okay, who am I? What's my true self? Um, what am I gifted at? What am I bad at? Oftentimes we'll answer that assuming this one authentic self. So I'm just the sort of person who gets angry at little things, but I'm also sort the sort of person who's very good at tackling big problems.

So that's. And then we'll think through, okay, what's a good career for me? What are good relationships for me based on who I am? Now, again, suppose that's all wrong. Suppose those are all simply patterns we've fallen into. So it may be empirically right to say Right now I'm someone who gets angry at little things and good at thinking big, but that's just because I've fallen into these patterns.

That doesn't mean that's essentially me. That's just who I've become. Now, if that's. The question you should be PO posing to yourself is not Who am I? The question you should post to yourself is, what are these patterns I'm falling into? Why do I get angry at these little things all the time? Why do I seem to be what I think is at my best when I'm tackling big problems?

And you begin to look at those little things you do on a daily basis that are sort of defining how we're we're responding to the world, why these little things make us angry. And you begin to alter. Why? For something we think is good, thinking big, tackling, big problems, well, what is it that I think I'm good at there?

And what am I doing that I think draws me out of my more negative sides, my angers and resentments and getting angry little things. What is it about that that I do well and can I do more of that in other aspects of my life? And you're constantly trying to get a sense of what are these patterns I've fallen into and how do I.

Some of them may be good and you may want to develop them. In this example, the thinking big, some of them may be really bad and are probably sort of the tip of an iceberg of something else going on that we, we spend so much of our lives and anger and resentment and jealousy, that's not you. That's a pattern and it's alterable.

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