Mental strength is really a continuum. Everybody possesses it to some degree just like physical strength. But people aren't either mentally strong or mentally weak, it's that we have a certain amount of mental strength. And then we can always choose to become stronger. There's always room for improvement. It's all about the choices you make, the exercises you do, and the way that you choose to live your life. 

You know, it's a problem when you feel like you're not reaching your greatest potential, when you know that there were things you could be doing, but you don't do them. Because something's holding you back. It's usually our mindset, there's something going on that's causing us to not take those steps that we want to take. 

So there's a big difference between being mentally strong and acting tough, and a lot of people get that mixed up. So people who are acting tough will say things like failure isn't an option. Well, if you want to be mentally strong, it's more about recognizing failure might actually happen. 

But I'm strong enough to deal with it, if it does. So whether you're going to ask for a promotion Are you going to apply for a new job, it's not about positive thinking and thinking this is definitely going to turn out right.

Maybe it's about realistic thinking. And recognizing this may not work, but to also remind yourself, you're strong enough to handle it. So anxiety is meant to keep us safe. If you didn't have any anxiety, you wouldn't look both ways before you cross the road if there's a hungry lion chasing you, you know, to run. 

And somewhere along the lines, we started confusing social rejection and small failures in the office with thinking that somehow that's dangerous. In today's world, we don't face nearly as many of those same physical kinds of dangers, maybe it is a social risk, maybe it's a financial risk. And our brains often have false alarms. If you're in a situation where you're in physical danger, you want that alarm bell to go off, but you don't want it to go off when you're just say asking for a raise, because it makes it much more difficult to do. So just recognizing I'm not in danger my body thinks I am. 

Download Transcript