Tennessee Williams once told us, there comes a time when you look into the mirror, and you realize that what you see is all you'll ever be. And then you accept it, or you kill yourself. Or you stop looking in mirrors. And speaking of mirrors, someone else once said, If we spend too much time scrutinizing what's in our rearview mirror, we're certain to crash into a light post. 

I've spent the last four years of my life studying people who look in mirrors, rear view and otherwise, in their search for self awareness. I've wanted to know what self awareness really is, where it comes from, why we need it, and how to get more of it. My research team surveyed quantitatively 1000s of people, we analyzed nearly 800 scientific studies. And we conducted dozens of in depth interviews with people who made dramatic improvements in their self awareness. Now, initially, we were actually so worried that we wouldn't find any of these people that we call them self awareness, unicorns. True. But thank goodness, we did find them. 

Because what these unicorns taught me would create a groundbreaking revelation for how all of us can find genuine self awareness. And that's what I want to share with you. Today, I want you to reflect on how you're reflecting. I know that's a mouthful. And to get there, we're going to need to shatter one of the most widely held beliefs about finding self awareness. But first things first, what is this thing we call self awareness anyway, it's the ability to see ourselves clearly, to understand who we are, how others see us, and how we fit into the world. 

Self awareness gives us power. We might not always like what we see. But there's a comfort in knowing ourselves. And there's actually a ton of research showing that people who are self aware, are more fulfilled, they have stronger relationships. They're more creative, they're more confident, and better communicators.

They're less likely to lie, cheat and steal. They perform better at work and are more promotable. And there are more effective leaders with more profitable companies. In the world of self awareness, there are two types of people. Those who think they're self aware. And those who actually are, it's true, my team has found that 95% of people think they're self aware. 

But the real number is closer to 10 to 15%. You know what this means, don't you? means that on a good day, on a good day, 80% of us are lying to ourselves about whether we're lying to ourselves. Pretty scary, right? So you can imagine the challenge we had, and figuring out who was truly self aware. What do you think would have happened if I had said, Hey, how self aware are you? Exactly. So to be part of our research, our unicorns had to clear for hurdles.

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