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Using mindfulness to cope with conflict at home

Yeshe Rabgye | 2:39


 People living in joint family, you can't avoid them. One or two people will be always arguing or every day fighting or something. What you can't avoid, you can't live separate. Yes. No choice. Yeah. So how you can be mindful that situation, but you can, because you can respond to that in a positive way. Yeah, but still they're not happy sometimes.

No, they're not happy. But your mindfulness is not necessarily gonna make them happy. Okay? You know, this is about you being mindfulness. They have a choice themselves. They're choosing to argue all the time. You have a choice. It doesn't mean that when you are being mindful, everybody around you is going to be happy.

It's not like that. Life is not like that. You know? Sometimes when we are mindful, we are mindful that I'm feeling. But then we've become aware of it, acknowledge it, and accept it, and then respond to it. They are going to do what they're going to do, and we can't change people. But you can change yourself and you can decide what is the best way for me to respond to this.

And at first it's very, very difficult. I, I understand that, but the more that you make it a habit, the easier it become. The more that you start responding, and the less you start reacting, then the easier it becomes, then the reactions you used to have, they will drop off and your responses will become your new habits.

So it's not about changing, then it's about you. It's about your thoughts, your feelings, your emotions, and your response. So life is not always happy. And if we are present in the moment, it doesn't mean life is gonna be happy. We can be present in a really dark and, uh, sad moment, but we acknowledge it.

Okay? I know that I'm in this moment. I'm aware of it. I acknowledge and I accept it, and I'm not going to judge myself for being in this moment. I'm just gonna find a way of responding to this moment. So it's about you. It's not about them. It's about the way you respond to them.

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