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Why We Are Lonely

Presenter:

School of Life

Time:

3:49

Summary

It’s an embarrassing confession, but many of us spend a great deal of our lives asking, week after week, always with the same blend of frustration, despair and puzzlement: Why am I so lonely?  The real answer is likely to be far less punitive and in its way far more logical…

Transcript

It's an embarrassing confession. But for a certain group among us, it's fair to say that a great deal of our lives is spent asking essentially the same question week after week, always with the same blend of frustration, despair and puzzlement. Why am I so lonely? Why? In other words, do I so often find myself at odds in social groups? Why can't I more easily connect with people? Why do I not have more friends worthy of the name? It's tempting to jump to the darkest conclusion?


Because I am awful, because there is something wrong with me, because I deserve to be hated. But the real answer is likely to be far less punitive, and in its way, far more logical. We be isolated members of the tribe are lonely for a very firm and forgivable reason, because we are interested in introspection, and they, the others, for all their intelligence and wit and strength of mind are not. They may have many hobbies and passions, and lots to say about a host of things. But they are simply not interested in looking deeply inside themselves. It is not their idea of fun to go into their childhoods to trace the links between their emotions and their actions, or to live for a long time in a bath or a bed processing events in their interior lives. Introspection is not

their thing.

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