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Why We Need to ‘feel’ - and Not Just Think


School of Life




We often say we ‘didn’t get on too well’ with our father or that our mother was ‘slightly neglectful’ thinking we have a solid grip on events. However it is these compressed, ready-made, affectless accounts that stand in the way of properly connecting with our past and thereby truly knowing ourselves in the present.


One of the great impediments to understanding bits of our lives properly is our overly ready assumption that we already do. So it's easy to carry around with us and exchange with others surface intellectual descriptions of key painful events that leave the marrow of our emotions


We may say that we remember, for example, that we didn't get on to well with our Father, that our mother was slightly neglectful, or that going to boarding school was a bit sad. It could on this basis sound as if we surely have a solid enough grip on events.

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